While driving in the car today, this is what my little Maryn said:
"When I am older and I go skydiving, I am going to take my pet monkey with me."
That's the joy of childhood - pure, unadulterated, dreaming.
SADLER FAMILY
Monday, July 25, 2011
Mid-life Crisis
I sat down to write tonight because I need to. I know I always feel "better" about my feelings if I can, although metaphorically, put pen to paper. But, as I sit here, I don't know what to say. I know that I have a whirlwind of feelings, thoughts, emotions, fears, hopes, dreams, hesitations, anticipations - the entire gamut of emotions - going on right now. So, I am going to try to be as succinct and sensible as I can. But, I'm certainly not making any promises!
One of the things I can't get out of my mind is a recent exchange I had with a friend. We were discussing a particular activity that is very important to me, but that I had been unable to do for a while. The question of how I could let anything get in the way of something so important to me was posed. When I was first asked the question, I almost felt embarrassed that I had, indeed, let something get in the way of my goal. But as I began to think on it further, I came to a conclusion - I don't get to do everything I want. Pretty straight forward, huh? But, it's true. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee, etc. I wear many different hats at one time. And, as much as I would like it to "be all about me," it's not. And you know what? That kind of infuriates me.
Lately I have been having a pity party where, unfortunately, I was the only one to RSVP! I have been reflecting on my life and I have been quite dissatisfied. I feel angry that I have to consider others when making a decision. I hate that I have to answer to someone in regards to my whereabouts. I don't want to have to account for money that is spent. I wonder why I am the only one who has to worry about finding a babysitter. And so on and so forth. I know it sounds selfish. I know I am lucky to have the life that I do. I know that I am the only one responsible for the decisions I have made in my life. But, it doesn't take away the malcontent I am feeling.
In talking with some friends about my same age, I have been surprised to hear that I am not the only person having these feelings. Many others (men and women alike) are experiencing the same frustrations. I wish I could say that our discussions have led to some amazing, life-altering conclusions, but I would be lying. If anything, we have left feeling even more confused than before.
I am trying to keep in mind that this place I am in isn't forever. Life is all about the ebbs and flows. I have lived long enough to know the things that discourage me now will, likely, not matter one year from now - that I will look back on this time and yearn for it's simplicity. I am striving to focus on the good in my life - my family, my friends, my health, my job.
What I really hope is that those of you who might be struggling with the trials of life read this. And that by doing so, you will realize that you are not alone.
One of the things I can't get out of my mind is a recent exchange I had with a friend. We were discussing a particular activity that is very important to me, but that I had been unable to do for a while. The question of how I could let anything get in the way of something so important to me was posed. When I was first asked the question, I almost felt embarrassed that I had, indeed, let something get in the way of my goal. But as I began to think on it further, I came to a conclusion - I don't get to do everything I want. Pretty straight forward, huh? But, it's true. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee, etc. I wear many different hats at one time. And, as much as I would like it to "be all about me," it's not. And you know what? That kind of infuriates me.
Lately I have been having a pity party where, unfortunately, I was the only one to RSVP! I have been reflecting on my life and I have been quite dissatisfied. I feel angry that I have to consider others when making a decision. I hate that I have to answer to someone in regards to my whereabouts. I don't want to have to account for money that is spent. I wonder why I am the only one who has to worry about finding a babysitter. And so on and so forth. I know it sounds selfish. I know I am lucky to have the life that I do. I know that I am the only one responsible for the decisions I have made in my life. But, it doesn't take away the malcontent I am feeling.
In talking with some friends about my same age, I have been surprised to hear that I am not the only person having these feelings. Many others (men and women alike) are experiencing the same frustrations. I wish I could say that our discussions have led to some amazing, life-altering conclusions, but I would be lying. If anything, we have left feeling even more confused than before.
I am trying to keep in mind that this place I am in isn't forever. Life is all about the ebbs and flows. I have lived long enough to know the things that discourage me now will, likely, not matter one year from now - that I will look back on this time and yearn for it's simplicity. I am striving to focus on the good in my life - my family, my friends, my health, my job.
What I really hope is that those of you who might be struggling with the trials of life read this. And that by doing so, you will realize that you are not alone.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
You Better Think Ahead!
This is just a little ditty a friend shared with me. Some things to think about before you have kids. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
New Year...New You?
I'm not big on resolutions. I guess the biggest reason is that I feel like it sets me up for failure. I know what some of you are thinking; "Well only if you don't follow through with your resolution." Ya, that's the problem.
Here's the deal. I tend to make resolutions that are so grandious, so insurmountable, SO aloof that there is no chance I could ever keep them. "I vow to never eat chocolate again." "I will exercise 3 hours everyday of the week, ESPECIALLY on vacation." "I will get back to my high school weight." "I will blog everyday." You get the point....
So I have decided to take another approach. Instead of calling them resolutions, I'm throwing around a few different titles - "Get your head in the game, Sadler. You're not gettin' any younger." "Are you really going to sit on the couch and hope your butt gets smaller by itself?" "Excuses, excuses, excuses." Some of you may say those titles are too lengthy. To you I say, "Pisha!"
So, stay tuned for some more "timely" blog posts, waive to me when you see me out for a run, and join me for some chocolate....on the couch..wishing my butt would get smaller all by itself.
Here's the deal. I tend to make resolutions that are so grandious, so insurmountable, SO aloof that there is no chance I could ever keep them. "I vow to never eat chocolate again." "I will exercise 3 hours everyday of the week, ESPECIALLY on vacation." "I will get back to my high school weight." "I will blog everyday." You get the point....
So I have decided to take another approach. Instead of calling them resolutions, I'm throwing around a few different titles - "Get your head in the game, Sadler. You're not gettin' any younger." "Are you really going to sit on the couch and hope your butt gets smaller by itself?" "Excuses, excuses, excuses." Some of you may say those titles are too lengthy. To you I say, "Pisha!"
So, stay tuned for some more "timely" blog posts, waive to me when you see me out for a run, and join me for some chocolate....on the couch..wishing my butt would get smaller all by itself.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Really
I know, I know. I have some serious blogging to do. Did I mention I went back to work? Did I mention it was Christmas? Did I mention I have a million other excuses? I'm gonna do it.....really.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Where Did it Go?
I have the good fortune to volunteer in my girls' classroom once a week. I find this to be an invaluable opportunity to get to see how my girls interact with others, gauge how they are performing in class, etc.
Last week their regular teacher was out sick so they had a substitute. She had just finished reading a story to them and began talking about the fact that the author and the illustrator had also been kindergartners at one time. She started asking the children what they wanted to be when they grew up and, of course, the answers varied widely from "worker at McDonald's, to a doctor, to a Mom. The obvious point being that they could be anything they wanted to be if they were willing to put in the time to make it happen.
You have probably heard about what Oprah calls an aha! moment. Well this was mine. I sat there pondering what I had wanted to be when I "grew up" (although I am not even sure I know what that means) and realizing that I hadn't achieved it. And then I began to wonder why.
Why do those 25 kids in that kindergarten class genuinely believe they can be whatever they want to be and where does that belief go? Why is it when you get to older you let go of that belief? Why do you allow your dreams to go by the wayside? And, furthermore, does it have to happen?
I guess for me those dreams collapsed when the reality of life set in. I started working when I was in 10th grade and had a job until I had my children. I got used to money, used to having what I wanted when I wanted and my dreams seemed like something of the past. Please don't misunderstand me. These were conscious choices and decisions I made. Nobody forced them upon me. I guess like many other people the "rat race," got the best of me.
So here I am, almost 38 years old, wondering some days why I gave up so easily. I do not regret anything that has happened in my life. I am a firm believer that everything in your life happens for a reason. Good, bad or indifferent there are lesson to be learned. And I love being a wife and a mother. I believe there is no greater calling. But what else could I have taught my kids, how much better of a wife could I have been, could I have contributed more to society if I would have followed my dreams?
The lesson for me from this aha! moment is to hold tight to my dreams. I will no longer allow someone to tell me I can't be who or what I want to be. I will follow my heart. I will try not to worry about what other people think or allow their judgements to cloud my pursuits. I intend to dream big, follow through and be the best ME I can.
Last week their regular teacher was out sick so they had a substitute. She had just finished reading a story to them and began talking about the fact that the author and the illustrator had also been kindergartners at one time. She started asking the children what they wanted to be when they grew up and, of course, the answers varied widely from "worker at McDonald's, to a doctor, to a Mom. The obvious point being that they could be anything they wanted to be if they were willing to put in the time to make it happen.
You have probably heard about what Oprah calls an aha! moment. Well this was mine. I sat there pondering what I had wanted to be when I "grew up" (although I am not even sure I know what that means) and realizing that I hadn't achieved it. And then I began to wonder why.
Why do those 25 kids in that kindergarten class genuinely believe they can be whatever they want to be and where does that belief go? Why is it when you get to older you let go of that belief? Why do you allow your dreams to go by the wayside? And, furthermore, does it have to happen?
I guess for me those dreams collapsed when the reality of life set in. I started working when I was in 10th grade and had a job until I had my children. I got used to money, used to having what I wanted when I wanted and my dreams seemed like something of the past. Please don't misunderstand me. These were conscious choices and decisions I made. Nobody forced them upon me. I guess like many other people the "rat race," got the best of me.
So here I am, almost 38 years old, wondering some days why I gave up so easily. I do not regret anything that has happened in my life. I am a firm believer that everything in your life happens for a reason. Good, bad or indifferent there are lesson to be learned. And I love being a wife and a mother. I believe there is no greater calling. But what else could I have taught my kids, how much better of a wife could I have been, could I have contributed more to society if I would have followed my dreams?
The lesson for me from this aha! moment is to hold tight to my dreams. I will no longer allow someone to tell me I can't be who or what I want to be. I will follow my heart. I will try not to worry about what other people think or allow their judgements to cloud my pursuits. I intend to dream big, follow through and be the best ME I can.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
NO and I Hate Babies
We have a house for sale next door to us. Said house has been on the market for more than a year now. Many people have come looking, but it has yet to be purchased.
The last potential buyer came to my door asking about the neighborhood. I swear to you the first question out of his mouth was, "Is there an LDS church nearby?" I told him that I was not LDS but that there was a church just down the road. I asked him if he was new to Utah and he told me no and also informed me that his brother lived just down the street. Call me paranoid, but I think he wanted to know if I was LDS and just used that as a way to find out. Because, let's be honest, if you have lived in Utah your whole life and your brother lives down the street you know there is a church nearby. Am I right? Can I get an amen?
Cut to today. I am outside - minding my own business when I am approached by another potential buyer. Again, one of the first questions out of her mouth was, "Are you LDS?" First I want to thank her for making small talk with me before prying into my personal business. Second, I want to tell her no. And, I hate babies, apple pie and the smell of freshly washed laundry.
What gives here, people? First it is absolutely NOBODY'S business what religion I am. In fact I find that question to be almost as offensive as, "When are you due?" when, in fact, I am not pregnant.
Secondly, just because I am not Mormon does not mean I am not a good person. What the hell does my religion have to do with you buying the house next door to me? I promise when I smoke pot, cook meth, and get drunk on the weekends I won't make you do it.
I have absolutely NO problem with LDS people. I have wonderful neighbors - both LDS and non-LDS. But I truly resent the hell out of the fact that who or what I do or do not worship even factors in to any kind of conversation I have with you. Not YOU. Collective YOU. Unless YOU are one of those people who think they need to know that about me before befriending me.
Please, take me at face value. Get to know me. Get to know my family. Please don't make assumptions and please stop asking so many personal questions.
The last potential buyer came to my door asking about the neighborhood. I swear to you the first question out of his mouth was, "Is there an LDS church nearby?" I told him that I was not LDS but that there was a church just down the road. I asked him if he was new to Utah and he told me no and also informed me that his brother lived just down the street. Call me paranoid, but I think he wanted to know if I was LDS and just used that as a way to find out. Because, let's be honest, if you have lived in Utah your whole life and your brother lives down the street you know there is a church nearby. Am I right? Can I get an amen?
Cut to today. I am outside - minding my own business when I am approached by another potential buyer. Again, one of the first questions out of her mouth was, "Are you LDS?" First I want to thank her for making small talk with me before prying into my personal business. Second, I want to tell her no. And, I hate babies, apple pie and the smell of freshly washed laundry.
What gives here, people? First it is absolutely NOBODY'S business what religion I am. In fact I find that question to be almost as offensive as, "When are you due?" when, in fact, I am not pregnant.
Secondly, just because I am not Mormon does not mean I am not a good person. What the hell does my religion have to do with you buying the house next door to me? I promise when I smoke pot, cook meth, and get drunk on the weekends I won't make you do it.
I have absolutely NO problem with LDS people. I have wonderful neighbors - both LDS and non-LDS. But I truly resent the hell out of the fact that who or what I do or do not worship even factors in to any kind of conversation I have with you. Not YOU. Collective YOU. Unless YOU are one of those people who think they need to know that about me before befriending me.
Please, take me at face value. Get to know me. Get to know my family. Please don't make assumptions and please stop asking so many personal questions.
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