I got a question. Let's say (hypothetically) you have some really super bratty kids that live in your neighborhood. Even those these (hypothetical) children are older, your kids still want to play with them. Almost a big kid "hero worship" if you will. However, these (hypothetical) kids are total brats to your kids and hurt their feelings. You have always wanted to be the parent who taught their kids to fight their own battles but you are starting to get awfully irritated. Do you be a helicopter parent and say things like (in voices loud enough for the brats to hear) "Don't worry about it, Madelyn, they just can't play on our swing set next time," or do you just let your kids deal with these little terrors on their own? Or better yet, do you grab these little darlings by the collar and tell them that they better be nice because "someone" is watching.....? Not that I would ever do that.
By the way, if you live in my neighborhood and you read this blog, I will deny any of this.... And, I am not talking about your kid.
4 comments:
Fighting own's own battles is a good thing in general but not if your kid's don't yet have the skills. I think, in the short term, it might be good to teach M&M some good things to say or do. This is also a wonderful opportunity to teach them about choosing good, kind friends and staying away from people who make them feel bad. If they want to go play with these "hypothetical" bullies, you might ask them to remember what happened the last time and ask them if they really want to risk that happening again.
Or you can just take the Grandma Divino approach and grab the kid by the collar, push them against the wall, and threaten them (ask Ron for details).
You can also let them know that if they hurt my little niece's feelings again, they will have to face their big, tough old Aunt Cindy.
I have recently been put in this situation and it was scary to see my first reaction. I seriously wanted to grab the kid and shake sense into her, hypothetically of course.
It was a great opportunity to ask Alex, "how did that make you feel? Would you EVER want to treat someone like that? Make someone feel that crumby?" Then! My favorite part: YOU GET TO BUILD YOUR CHILD UP WHILE THEY LISTEN! "You are such a tender heart. You are so sweet and kind. I am so lucky to have a daughter who knows how to treat people kindly. I love that about you."
Then smack the kid on the back of the head when no one is looking. I know it makes me feel better.
I always strive for the jealousy/guilt route in these situations. For example: Rent one of those huge blow up bouncy things, have ice cream sundae's, and a mass amount of happy children nicely playing. Name this party the "Kindness Karnival!" (improper spelling intentional). When the hypthetical children want to attend, simply point to the Kindness Karnival sign (while shaking your head in a non-approving way) and deny their admittance. :-)
Friend,
Okay I will tell Paislee to be nice and share LOL!!! J/K, I do think you should just say something loud enough so the parent can hear you say it. I am so sorry because it sucks when you teach your kids to be respectful and polite and then they hang around other kids that aren't. Your girls by the way are the sweetest most polite kids ever! I love them both to death.
LOVE YA & Good Luck!
Amanda
P.S. The playgroup just started this year and it is only 2 year olds. The mom that started it has a 2 year old and then there are 11 other 2 year olds in the neighborhood. Sorry if you thought we left you out friend.
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