Seasons of Change

Change make me reminisce. It can even evoke feelings of melancholy at times. So as I sit on the eve of my girls' 5th birthday to purge my thoughts, I am caught up in memories. Some of them so beautiful and others extremely painful.
In place of a birthday "party" at their preschool, they have a Spotlight Day. This consists of the children telling their classmates about their favorite animal, favorite story, etc. They also requested that the girls' bring a picture of themselves when they were little. This is were the emotions began. I started searching my "someday I will be creative and scrapbook these" bin and found things I hadn't seen in 5 years.
The first thing I came across were the plethora of ultrasounds that were done during the course of my pregnancy. From small embryotic pictures, to the day we found out we were having twins - and girls at that! I could not believe these were pictures of my miracles. I also found cards from my dear friends and family sending thoughts and concern for Dan and I that we were having such a hard time conceiving. How those words touched and comforted us during those difficult times.
Next were the cards from showers and congratulations on the arrival of the girls. Some of the cards evoked a response in me that I did not expect. See, I guess I have put up a wall in regards to some of these relationships. There were some very special words written by some people in my life that meant the world to me at the time and, if I were to be honest with myself, still do. How I long for some of these connections to be whole again.
Another letter from my Mom and Dad told of the pride they had in Dan and I for sacrificing so much to be good parents. We tried hard then and continue to try and make them proud of us and the way we are raising these girls. Dan's mom also wrote us a touching note about the excitement of having two new grand babies. How I wish she could be here to share in all of this with us. I pray that she would be pleased with how we are living our lives and rearing our girls.
I found funny pictures of them when they went through their "awkward" balding, baby acne phase. Another photo of Maddie with her cute painted toenails curled under as she sat on a chair with her huge, charming smile. And, my little Rinny Roo smiling with all the mischief she could muster -and those dark beautiful eyes.
I can't believe my babies are 5 years old. So much in my life has evolved in those years. And, through it all, the love of these precious gifts has changed me for the better.