Lowered Expectations

A man Dan works with once told him that the key to a happy marriage was low expectations. I remember Dan coming home and telling me that and feeling like that was the most cynical advice I had ever heard. When Dan and I talked more about it, I realized that this gentleman really did have a point. If you don't have expectations of people, then it is easier not to be hurt or disappointed when they don't deliver.
So I have tried to follow that sage advice with a few different relationships in my life. Relationships were I know the person is unable and unwilling to provide what I need or want. There are times that it has worked and times that it has not. And for every time it hasn't worked, I blame myself. I hear the internal dialogue that condemns me for someone else's shortcomings.
But today I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that I don't want relationships wherein I can't expect things from another person.
See, if you know anything about me at all, you know that I am fiercely loyal. Generally, if you and I become friends, we are friends for life. I am proud of these connections. I am blessed that I have such amazing and caring people to share my life with. And when I sat down to write this post, I began thinking about what all of these relationships have in common. That "thing" is the fact that I can count on these people. That I can expect certain things of them. And, in return, they can expect that I will be there for them. Isn't that the point of a real friendship?
So to the person that provided me this learning opportunity, I say thank you. And, I am sorry that because you can't tolerate relationships with expectations, you will miss out on some really great times.